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Learn How To Stress Less |
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By Amy Shatzkin |
Why is it hard to be
happy? How is it that anger and anxiety come so easily?
In these tense times
shaped by war abroad and the threat of terrorism at home, author and
motivational speaker Debbie Mandel eagerly helps Brooklynites
answer these difficult life questions and learn strategies for living well with
less stress.
According to Mandel,
the author of “Turn on Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul,” it’s
simple — while you can’t control what happens to you, you can control your
perception.
Mandel, a certified
personal trainer and
“People are hungry for
ways to shed personal anger and to make room for joy in their lives,” said
Mandel, who claims that her approach doesn’t teach new techniques, but reminds
people how to tune into what they already know.
She helps clients
handle feelings of anger and fear, as well as addiction, insomnia and
psychosomatic pain. To address these problems, Mandel teaches clients how to incorporate humor, to
relinquish unrealistic expectations, to manage the clutter and distraction of
the daily routine and to commit to a sensible health and fitness regime.
Although she recommends
serious lifestyle changes, Mandel said she has never had a client complain that
the suggestions were too dramatic or unattainable.
She also counters the
idea that using humor evades or downplays serious situations. For Mandel, humor
puts difficult times “into a perspective for me that takes the sting out of it,
so that I can face it. Because if it is so painful I’m going to bury it, I’m
going to block it out.”
“Objectifying my pain
makes me able to look at it more clinically. If I’m able to do that, I can say,
let me deal with it,” she said. “Instead of spending time worrying, I can find
the solution.”
Ultimately, Mandel
finds that humor does not undermine sadness or grief, but enables people to
“see that there’s a little light out there.”
Mandel also thinks the
use of humor also helps people understand how to let go of their ego — another
key element to letting go of stress.
“Everyone complains
about people ‘doing’ things to me. He cut me off. He did it to me.’ Take your
ego out of it. ‘He’ doesn’t even know you. ‘He’ didn’t
even see you,” Mandel
said.
As the daughter of
Holocaust survivors, Mandel attributes her unique perspective to the lessons of
her childhood.
“There was a lot of joy
in my house although I came from this dark back drop, which was very unusual.
We laughed a lot.”
She also thinks that,
“like many second-generation survivors, it’s very important to me to put back a
spark of goodness in the world. I think my parents spiritually gave me that
legacy and also the strength and immense belief in myself . .
.. and that’s been everything for me.”
For Mandel, the reward
for choosing to “see heaven on Earth and living for the moment,” is being
satisfied that she is living her “true life.”
“Leading your true life,
is doing what you think you were meant to be doing, it means being passionate
about what you do and being true to yourself.”
Knowing she’s on the
right path allows her to “really find joy and appreciate little things and in
those moments, why should be angry? . . . most importantly, I never take myself
that seriously.
Debbie Mandel provides seven
steps to help you steer through these tough times.
According to Mandel,
the first key is to remember that while you may not be able to control what’s
happening, you can control your perception of the world around you. To help you
accomplish this, learn how to:
1. Cultivate a sense
of humor.
When you’re faced with
a difficult situation, objectify it and give it a witty interpretation. Imagine
how the event would play out if it were a comedic
sitcom and you were the main character.
For example, if a fear
of terrorism makes your morning commute stressful, pretend that your subway
ride is a skit on Saturday Night Live and that everyone, including yourself, is
a character on the show.
2. Live in the here
and now.
Be in the moment to
experience life fully and joyously, because you might only have a moment. Don’t
think about the past or the future, but do whatever you are doing with focus.
If you’re in school,
concentrate on your homework. If you’re cleaning the house, wash the floor and
don’t think about anything else. If you’re on the subway, make getting to your
destination the task at hand. It’s a blessing to clear your mind.
3. Know your
limitations and embrace and develop your capabilities.
Admit that you are
afraid and that is the liability you must overcome.
If getting on the
subway is a difficult task, face your fear.
Imagine the journey as
an athletic competition where you will come out ahead.
Visualize the positive
outcome of your trip — literally the light at the end of the tunnel. You can
also practice on short rides to acclimate and desensitize yourself while
working on improving your positive thinking.
4. Let go of
unrealistic expectations.
Don’t compare yourself
to what you once were, or hold on to what you once had. Move forward.
Be realistic - you can
make yourself unhappy with unrealistic expectations. Make your goals small
victories. In terms of the war with
5. Speak your mind.
Try not to bottle up
your feelings and emotions. Don’t keep everything inside until you burst. Talk,
write, sing it out - whatever it takes.
6. Clean out the
clutter.
Get rid of the
distractions in your life. Prioritize your schedule and make sure you have time
for the things most important to you. Take things one thing at a time and
decide what responsibilities can fall by the wayside.
7. Commit to health
and fitness.
Eating right and
exercising helps balance your body and mind so that you can concentrate on the
important things in your life.
Everyone can take out 5
to 10 minutes a day to exercise. Use the stairs, park your car farther from
your destination, do leg lifts while waiting in line. All of those minutes can
add up to a 40-minute work out.
Stay away from
processed foods, alcohol and sugar. All of these substances over stimulate the
body and sap your energy.
For more tips visit:
www:turnonyourinnerlight.com